Sorry for being a week behind on this…as if anyone noticed. Busy/harrowing week for me and the short week for the Colts in week 5 caused me to get behind. If you didn’t notice, then I was totally on time with this article and everything is coming up Milhouse.
So, with October being a thing I decided I would try to do horror movies for the entire stretch of games that have WAY too much pink in them. How ridiculous do the Raiders look with two dull colors in black and silver that get splashed with pink? I digress. Last This week’s movie is one that people might remember as a laugh riot of confusion, stupidity, and a bonkers ending that still freaks me out a bit. The 1983 classic Sleepaway Camp is our comparison to the week 4 action of the Indianapolis Colts and for many good reasons.
Movie Synopsis:
How do you do a synopsis of this movie? It is a befuddled mess of mediocrity and confusing plot. So…a kid dies in a boating accident…well a boy and girl are in the boat with their dad…or uncle…um…an older guy. The older guy and one of the kids die when a boat runs into their boat. The aunt of the surviving child takes them and after, I guess going crazy, she takes the child in as her own. The aunt has a son named Ricky and basically convinces him that his cousin, Angela, is now his sister.
Years later they go to camp. Ricky is the cool kid and Angela is the quiet nerdy girl that is really cute, but super shy. Everyone picks on her, but Ricky defends her as much as he can when he’s not off doing stereotypical summer camp frat like things. While this very boring story is happening, there is a killer on the loose. Murdering campers, counselors, and staff at the camp. They die in ridiculous fashion each time.
- Pedophile Cook – Boiling hot pot of water
- Douchey Counselor – Beehive dropped on him while on the toilet.
- Camper girl – Smothered with pillow and then a curling iron inserted inside of her…uh…va…her uh…nethers.
Yup, all those deaths and many many many more hack and slash deaths and no one can figure out who is doing it even thought it is clearly Angela the entire time. C’mon, the weird girl everyone is picking on isn’t a suspect? Get your shit together, adults.
Anyway, it ends with Angela going off with a boy that has been crushing on her the whole movie so that they can have sex. By the way, they’re like 12 in this and it is very unnerving the amount of sex that happens or is suggested in this movie. The owner of the camp even sets up a date with a 16 year old girl and the owner is well into his 60’s. Anywho…Angela and this kid sneak off and the other campers find a bunch of bodies and go to find the killer. They arrive to where Angela and the boy are and…um…you know what? I’m not going to ruin the ending because it is literally the only good thing about the movie. You’ll probably never forget the ending as long as you live.
How It Relates To Week 4
Because it was a huge mess with a great ending.
Seriously, how did we win that game?
So, that’s how Sleepaway Camp and week 4 Colts were EXACTLY alike. See you again this next week.
