So Week 8 was another disappointing loss in a series of disappointing losses. The undefeated Carolina Panthers roared early and often against our boys in blue. However, the Colts eventually got their act together and made a ferocious comeback to send the game into overtime where they once again fell short. Losses like this have become the norm this season and have driven the fans, the players, and the front office to their wits end. This game brought back the memory of a classic thriller from 1995, Seven (Se7ev). How one Earth, you ask, did you figure that? Well dear readers that wonder way too much about how I think for some damn reason, let me tell you.
Movie Synopsis:
The film in question is one of the best films from the mid-90’s. It featured big stars in Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey, and Gwyneth Paltrow. It set a precedent in what a psychological thriller should be with twists and turns at every angle. Once you think you have something figured out you are met with something new and exciting and it cultivates into one of the most shocking and perfect film endings in cinema history.
For those unfamiliar with the film it follows two detective partners that have recently become a new team in Pitt and Freeman. The duo’s first case follows a series of murders that are being performed with the “Seven Deadly Sins” being the reasons victims are chosen for death. The sins and murders are as follows: Gluttony (obese man forced to eat himself to death), Greed (corporate big wig chooses between his money and his life), Sloth (a drug dealer and child molester is tied to his bed and left for dead), Lust (a prostitute is killed by a client when he wears a bladed sexual device), Pride (beautiful woman has her face destroyed), Envy (the killer himself envying the life of Pitt’s character), and Wrath (Pitt’s character after he find’s his wife’s head in a box).
The film works the mind and stretches it beyond what it feels it is capable of in the same way that fans of Colts have felt recently. Let me show you how.
How it was like Week 8:
Gluttony: Pep Hamilton – He kept trying to call the big plays all game. He wanted to eat up the defense, but he left the team starving.
Greed: Adam Vinatieri – Scoring 4 field goals and leaving little scores for anyone else.
Sloth: T.Y. Hilton – He got paid this offseason so he could have…1 catch. 1 measly catch on 7 targets.
Lust: Pat McAfee – Seriously, who doesn’t lust after the man?
Pride: Andrew Luck – Maybe he has too much pride to suck it up and admit that he is playing like crap at times and needs to stop trying to force throws that aren’t working.
Envy: Frank Gore – He has to be envious of the playcalling on literally every other team in the league. The man is the high point of this offense and every time he starts to get on a roll he is shut down because of a “pitch count” that does nothing but hurt the team.
Wrath: Chuck Pagano – The man is too nice to truly show how pissed off he must be. His offensive coordinator is losing the team games, his GM is forcing his lineup choices, and the players keep making boneheaded errors that he takes full blame for week in and week out.
So yeah, this week (hell, this season) has been just like the movie Seven and I’m not sure how we turn it around…oh, we fired Pep Hamilton and replaced him Rob Chudzinski. Alright. That’s a pretty damn good start.
